The E38: An unexpected journey

[LCG]

I really want to update this thread, but I lost the pictures I took to continue the story.

Do you remember when someone chopped a car and made what was going to be an epic build thread then got sad because he lost the pictures and the thread just died?

This won't be as epic, but this won't be dead. I just have to gather enough energy to pull out a "cell phone" update.

[loekaaz]

Do you remember when someone chopped a car and made what was going to be an epic build thread then got sad because he lost the pictures and the thread just died?

I do.
Every. Single. Fucking. Day.

[190Evan]

I do.
Every. Single. Fucking. Day.

Seems to be a trend

[Benwalsh91]

love this but i prefer the story telling. if you are struggling for certain bits let me know and i will have a search for them over here in the UK and look at shipping for you. obviously depending how much of a ballot it is for importing parts into mexico.

[TWM Performance]

Love the progress of this. Great work on the body!

- Renato

[LCG]

love this but i prefer the story telling. if you are struggling for certain bits let me know and i will have a search for them over here in the UK and look at shipping for you. obviously depending how much of a ballot it is for importing parts into mexico.

I missed your post, thank you. May take your word



On update things... I don't want to make a cell phone picture update because all the pics NCO sends me are very low quality, so....

A few days ago I go with the camera to take new pictures and the car is in more or less the same state it has been since the last time I saw it 2-3 weeks ago.

Needless to say I was so disappointed that I left without taking pictures.

But today while reading others Builds I felt the urge to awaken myself up so I will man up and push the cell phone update just to give me the impulse to retake my life.

Update incoming as soon as I search around pictures, order them to make sense and try and dramatize the events in a "first 48 A&E way".

o7

[LCG]

Well that was quick, there was not that much material to begin with.



EXCUSES FIRST

A lot of things have been taking my mind away from the cars, a house that seem I will never finish, the imminent arrival of a lvl 1 human being, ridiculous amounts of stress at work, helping other people with their own car projects and a worse than drug addictive video game.

I don’t know what a real depression is but I really lost interest in everything without really noticing it, work became so stressful that I just disconnected from everything that was mine and focused on others.

Then, a few days ago an unsung hero appeared and shared a link on his slowly dying because of lack of content build thread site Instagram.

A couple of guys, one that looks like some sort of Chris Fosberg mixed with a haircut model and the other one straight of the Romanian mafia bought an e30 wagon a do a motor swap, they made it look so easy that it just pumped me up.

Then, as previous post says, in all my newly acquired pumpness I went to see the bmw and came back disappointed, almost to fall into the hole I was stepping out of.

So here I am pushing myself to make this ugly update in hopes to rail myself again and not get overwhelmed by the fact that the thread won’t be “story/picture perfect” . ( Now I know why the chopped car build thread got chopped too. )

So…

I will pledge for your best imagination while looking at some of this pictures because they are way out of color / out of focus / not what reality looks like.

End.

………



CHOOSE YOUR COLOR

There is a strong belief that ALL e38s are black, I know this is a myth because mine was silver.

While I think the e38 looks “awesomely gangsta” in black I just don’t have the education to own a black car.

I had a black truck and my God it was a pain to be taken care of, had a million scratches that made me cringe every time it washed it.

So the quest for a new color began.

I have stated many times that I am such a dilemma to myself -having options is such a weakness for me.

Endless nights going to sleep thinking about it and looking at thousands of pictures while my wife asked what was wrong and me saying "nothing" while I was dying inside ( not really ).


// I will use pictures from the internet without permission, if the original owner feels aggravated please don’t sue me, just ask me to remove them. I will gladly do it you egoist prick.

First test while the car was still somewhat 1 piece.

- Bentley Granite Grey Metallic



This is what it looked like.






Pictured exaggerate a red/maroonish hue on the pearl, it was a beautiful color however NCO told me that it would be hard to get it PERFECT because it is a water based color and they would have to do it on solvent base to actually paint the car.

The first thing I told him when we made the deal to paint the whole car was that I would expect nothing else than perfection. I could live with the silver OEM color as it was with all its defects but paying for a full job and ending with another color with the same defects is not something my brain can live with.

So I asked if that color was a real option and he said no.

Bleh I was just starting, I had a lot of juice left on my balls to spread on the other tens of millions of colors available.

Oh God…


A lot of discussing, watching pictures, watching RM catalogs, mixing paint at the store after we made 3 tests more.



- Bentley Storm Grey




I’m not a blue car guy, but this color appealed to me because it looked like Audi Nardo Grey with a blueish tint to it, really nice in person. Now, this is the moment where you use your imagination.




Yep, I just posted that pic. Go figure.

It was nice, but again, I’m not a blue car guy and decided against it.




- VW Carbon Steel and MB Selenite Grey






The VW color had a very pearly top finish, like if there was a puddle of paint and the pearl was floating on it. Really cool looking paint but it had a GREEN reflectiveness.

Now I don’t **** blue, but if I am not a blue car guy, I am definitely not a green car guy. The only green car I would buy is a White Tesla S.




The MB color was the same, very metallic super reflective changing paint, yet a bit greenish.

….


This looks like we made this in 3 hours but this was more like 4 weeks of back and forth colors.

After almost giving up and just going with FUCK IT AND PAINT IT BLACK ALREADY a friend of mine went to a dealer and bought a mid-sized truck.


Cell call dramatization:

Yours Truly: Hakuna Matata
Undisclosed mentally problematic Friend: I am picking up my truck and I just saw the perfect color for your car.
YT: Please tell me more
UMPF: come check it out its on blabla dealer on blabla street.
YT: I would give you a kiss.
UMPF: you will.


/End of dramatization.

That dealer was a bit of my course so I called another and asked if they had any car of that color.

OBVIOUSLY the salesman asked what kind of car I was looking for so I told him I wanted the econobox for Uber services, then shit went down because the guy got so excited that he wanted to explain me all the Uber plans they had and I had to keep the lie going, how can I explain that I just want to paint a car.

I regret it to this day.

So I did not went to see the color in person, the internet being the resourceful thing it is, filled me plenty with more doubts than answers.

I called NCO and asked him to go see the color in person and tell me if he could do that color the way I want it.

He went into a similar problem as me but he was actually on site so it was worse, and he said the chick was super-hot so it was even more painful.


Anyway, he sends me a picture of a car in that color, doesn’t help because as you can see, his phone takes pictures no better than a low res potato.

I ask for a color sample and a few days later I receive these pictures.








Without realizing once again that a potato takes better pictures I drool and tell him to wait me after hours to see it in person.


I arrive and run for the prize.

It is a nice color, not as ridiculously nice as it seems to look in those 3 pictures but it is nice.

At this point I am burnt of stress of looking at colors and I finally take the decision to paint it.

It was pretty big at that time because I thought the car was going to be sprayed like the next day.

LMAO


Up to this day I have not seen a full car color in person and at this point is useless to go to the dealer to look at one.

They already painted the engine bay / jambs / underhood / undertrunk.

He sent me this picture.



It looks like a black that turns a shade of silver that reflects any color around.


I LIKE IT.



I will be back tomorrow with a bit more because my daughter is pulling my hand of the keyboard asking for cereal.

Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.

Blame the little one.

[lamsv]

Was hoping that the thread bump was an update. Was not disappointed.

You going to keep us in suspense as to what OEM color this is???

[LCG]

Was hoping that the thread bump was an update. Was not disappointed.

You going to keep us in suspense as to what OEM color this is???

For the moment yes, I am not a teaser, but since current pictures do not show reality and the internet shows quite a difference in pictures of the same paint I don't want anyone to say, oh that color will turn pink in 2 years or only pokemon trainers wear that color.

So I will wait till the whole car is painted so I don't have a chance of changing my mind

[loekaaz]

Only pokemon trainers wear that color. Pick another one

[LCG]

Only pokemon trainers wear that color. Pick another one

[LCG]

BODYWORK UPDATE

As much as I think that updating on OEM bodywork is very lame, I am lame enough to excuse it as “every part of the story makes the story whole”.

Plus, the deeper you dig, bigger the chance of pulling an undigested grain of corn.

- Driver Side

When you leave your car at a shop to get painted, the usual steps are.

- You get the car to the shop to get evaluated.
- You get a quote
- You leave the car at the shop
- 5 years go by
- They ask for more money to finish it
- 3 years go by
- A bit more money
- You get the car back / Change the half-finished car to another shop / You died long before.

But in my case since I have the “power” to roam around the shop when-ever I visited I always went for the sad corner where my car is sitting.

Obviously the guy in charge of the bodywork is bodyworking another car, what else.

I already know his hypocrite smile when I gracefully ask him why he has not finished. I begin to enjoy it.

Yet, NCO and him always follow me to the corner to see what I have about to say about the work being done.





I always joke about the straightness of the car, obviously when it arrived it was like an overused hot cake pan.



You can get straighter cuts with toddler zigzag scissors.


NCO knows I am a perfectionist bitch, the one that no matter how good you think you did your work, I can find something wrong with it. So he knows… when I joke about wanting a STRAIGHT paint job is just a nice way to say “bitch, how much you regret accepting this job now?”

I found a picture of a random custom rod that had a flawless straight body line and sent it to him.


Did you ever woke up as a teenager and thought, today I am going to be the best son my parents ever dreamed of.

While you put some clothes on you start planning the day
- Clean the room
- Take the trash out
- Wash the cars
- Maybe even study for that exam of tomorrow

Just before you tie your ugly worn vans you hear your dad coming over to your door.

With the strength of the most Alpha Male gorilla he knocks your door 23 times, and overpowers the sound of your “hello dad” so you just roll your eyes and wait till the knocking stops.

It stops.

Just before you start saying AGAIN “hello da….”

SON, WAKE UP, CLEAN YOUR ROOM, TAKE THE TRASH OUT, WASH THE CARS AND YOU BETTER STUDY FOR YOUR EXAM TOMORROW.

Ohhhhh yes….

Now you know what it feels being the owner of a body shop and a client sends you a picture of the most perfect of jobs ever.


No reply was received that day.


A few days later I receive this set of pictures.








I was in a very good mood that day so I instantly replied with – Not good enough.

It’s not like I have a straightness measuring app on my cellphone, I was just messing with him.

No reply from him.

At this point I am super mega ultra-busy at work and don’t have time to even remember I have a house being unfinished, let alone a car on a body shop so a few more weeks pass by.

Out of nothing he sends me this pictures.






This time I completely overlook the doors and my eyes go straight to the rockers.

I tend to make my observations in questions, I guess this is how retrospective unsocial people deal with problems.

-Is the rocker repaired already on you still have to work it?


I guess this was the drop of water that filled his glass with me and he calls me and starts lecturing me on the order and process of repairing a car while I made more and more questions.

I bet he regrets taking the job like 10 times more by now.


More time passed and we became friends again.

He sends me a picture and adds – Don’t complain, progress is being done.







- Passenger side

Of course the reason of all this drama was the fact that the car had a hit on driver side, yet the grain of corn was about to get pulled.

90% of e38 “enthusiast” owners will at some point install 2001 rocker covers.
5% will paint match the rockers
The rest will leave the car alone.

For me getting rockers covers was out of the question because of past “used” parts condition and the inability to return them.

I also think they make the cars look a bit fatter on the bottom.

So the next best thing was to strip the black turd of the rocker, paint it like actual body panels and live with the regret of all the rock chips that will eventually appear on them.

Rock chips… HA!

They began striping passenger side and he calls me to ask which side was the good one?

At this point is laughable so I just do that and ask for pictures.









Seems like rock chips was an amateur achievement for me, previous owner was far more ballsy and appears to have participated in some sort of rock crawling event.

That or someone with such inexperience to drive a car longer than 2 meters curbed the hell of the rocker from mid-point backwards.

It’s not that big of a deal, we are repairing a worse thing on the other side, this is just material for extra drama.




HELP

I am looking for the impact bar of drivers door, I have looked over ebay without success.

It is a bolt on unit so it can be taken of the door but I have not found anyone willing to sell me just the bar.

I can pay for a whole door no problem but I need someone to take it out so I don’t have to ship the whole door.

If you have the means to do me that favor please approach me and I will kiss you softly, guys with beards must shave first and please no homosexuals, I don’t want anyone fall in love with me because of my mad kissing skillz.

[loekaaz]

What are those holes for?

[LCG]

What are those holes for?

- the car is a rolling ant colony

- some horny drill bit dick squirrel had fun with the rocker

- holes to insert a pulling tool to fix damage

- previous owner had a big garden and did not have a hose so he filled the rocker with water and then drove all around to water it

- El chupacabras sucked all the blood out of the rocker

- An angry girlfriend with good ethics saw the picture of the audi with all the pick axes and thought about doing the same but she knew the car was a timeless design so she bought a playmobil pick axe and made damage on a not so visible area, yet stressful enough for the owner to have it fixed. (poorly)

- Inverse Braille for that chance of running over a blind person.

So many possibilities

[kneums]

BODYWORK UPDATE
HELP

I am looking for the impact bar of drivers door, I have looked over ebay without success.

For the driver front i assume? If you still need one i have a 01 door from a parts car that should have it.