Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Don't Even Reply

  1. #1

    Default Don't Even Reply

    www.dontevenreply.com

    This guy is hilarious, check it out.

    Here's one of the emails.

    Original ad:
    i need a ride from philly to bonnaroo in manchester, TN! i will throw up some cash for gas. i dont have that much stuff either. i am a down ass chick and will be fun to ride with!
    From Mike Anderson to ************@***********.org

    Hey! I'm taking my truck down to Bonnaroo and should have an extra seat. I'm planning on leaving Wednesday afternoon. Does this work for you?

    From Katie ******* to Me

    yes that is fine! thank you! where do you live? i can meet you somewhere if it is easier for you.

    From Mike Anderson to Katie ********

    I live in West Philadelphia, born and raised. I can meet you anywhere you want. So far it is me, you, my friend Josh and his friends Steve and Rob. It should be a fun ride!

    From Katie ******* to Me

    great! how big is your truck? i may have a lot of stuff.

    From Mike Anderson to Katie ********

    My truck is pretty big. It is a Mazda Miata and it can hold around 3 people. You will probably have to sit on Steve's lap. He's fat though, so it will be somewhat comfortable to sit on. Are you attractive? My only concern is that Steve may get turned on when you are sitting on his lap. If this is an issue, you can sit on Josh's lap because he is gay. The only problem with that is that if you are fat, you may crush him because he is a small dude. But if you are fat you can probably just sit on Steve's lap without him getting aroused.

    From Katie ******* to Me

    what?! how the hell are you going to fit 5 people in a miata? that isnt a truck! i dont want to sit on anyones lap.

    From Mike Anderson to Katie ********

    Oh, I get it. You are one of those Ford fanboys that likes to **** on Miatas. That's okay, I'm not too adamant about Mazdas. If you don't want to sit on Steve or Josh's lap, you can sit on mine, since I have a girlfriend and won't try anything. You will have to drive since my legs will be stuck, though. That's probably better, anyway, since my license is revoked until 2012, and I have a few warrants. Do you know how to drive stick? If you don't, I can teach you. You can pick it up in like five minutes.

    From Katie ******* to Me

    no im not driving are you fucking kidding me? this sounds like a horrible ride. ill find another ride thanks but no thanks. i still dont get how you are going to cram 4 dudes into a miata.

    From Mike Anderson to Katie ********

    Do you have a car? You can just follow us down there in your car if you want more room. I take the long way, however, since if I get pulled over in Kentucky or Virginia I will probably go to jail. We are going around, through Missouri. Missouri is really nice though!

    From Katie ******* to Me

    IF I HAD A CAR I WOULDNT NEED A FUCKING RIDE

    THIS IS RIDICULOUS IM DONE TALKING TO YOU


    Oh and I don't really want you not to reply



    Quote Originally Posted by da3bous View Post
    I want you to photoshop a giant penis down the side of my car

  2. #2

    Default

    This one's even better


    Original ad:
    **********HEY YOU THERE*************-$1500

    HELLO I AM LOOKING FOR A FORD EXPLORER!I NEED A TRUCK SO IF YOU ARE SELLING YOURS AND IT HAS NO PROBLEMS WHAT SO EVER THEN LET ME KNOW. I'M A SINGLE MOTHER OF 3 BEAUTIFUL GIRLS AND WE NEED A WAY TO GET AROUND WHERE NO BODY WILL BE ALL CRAMPED UP AND A EXPLORER WILL DO US JUST FINE. I'M LOOKING TO BUY AROUND THE END OF OCTOBER IF YOU HAVE ONE THAT YOU WANT TO SELL THEN GET AT ME A.S.AP.

    (the ad also had a picture of her posing for the camera, like that is necessary for an "auto wanted" ad)

    Me to SHANIQUA ***********
    ay yo girl i gots a ford explorer for you

    its not really a 1997 its a 1985
    and its not really a ford explorer its a ford bronco but its like the same thing

    here are the specs if your interested:
    -217,292 miles
    -transmission is in good shape, 5th gear and reverse work but the rest dont
    -the V6 engine was replaced with a V8, gas mileage is pretty good - i got about 12 mpg highway the other day but that was with premium
    -power windows but you have to turn a crank to roll them down
    -tape player - it does play but there is a def leppard tape jammed in there and it won't come out. great for def leppard fans!
    -i am a smoker so you can smell it in the car, but ill throw in an air-freshener for an extra 10 bucks
    -it came with front airbag, but it deployed in my last accident and i didnt get it replaced. broncos are safe though so you wont have to worry about an airbag.
    -the air conditioning does not work anymore, but it used to and was really cold.
    -heat works if you drive the car for a while
    -the frame is bent due to an accident with a tractor trailer, but as long as you dont drive over 40 you shouldnt have any problems
    -it can seat five which is good for kids, but the back seat has beer and urine stains. they have been professionally treated with windex
    -the rear window is missing, but has been repaired with saran wrap
    -you will need to have some minor repairs done: new brakes, the rear axle is missing, needs a new radiator and coolant system. i spoke to my friend who knows a lot about cars and he said it shouldnt cost more than a few bucks.
    im asking for $7,500 but am willing to negotiate.
    let me know what you think
    -ted

    SHANIQUA *********** to Me

    No thanks.That's not what I'm looking for it's too old and not even the right type of Ford.Have a nice day

    Me to SHANIQUA ***********

    I'm willing to drop the price to $7,000 and throw in a phil collins cassette tape for the tape player. even though it may seem old, it still runs like it was OJ's bronco. and don't worry about it not being an explorer. all fords are built ford tough.

    SHANIQUA *********** to Me

    I don't think that you read my ad.I don't have $7000.00 to spend on a truck much less a DAMN 1985 BRONCO!!!!!!!!!!!You should be willing to give that old ass piece of shit away.GO AWAY and leave me the hell alone STOP WASTING MY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Me to SHANIQUA ***********

    I see you are a tough negotiator. My final offer is $6,900, and I'll include a floormat from my 1983 cutlass supreme. this floormat is brown with several stains and cigarette burns, but it will keep the beautiful bronco interior very clean. please consider this generous offer.

    SHANIQUA *********** to Me

    READ THE AD 1500 THAT'S IT.I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN FORD BRONCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Me to SHANIQUA ***********

    Okay, I can see that this luxurious bronco is out of your price range. That is okay. I have a cheaper car that you may be interested in.
    It is a 1996 Geo Metro. Almost EXACTLY the same as a Ford Explorer. When looking at the two, I personally can't even tell the difference.
    It was my son's car, but he lost his license after his third DUI, so now I am stuck with it. I have no use for it though, and would be willing to sell it to you for $1550.
    Features:
    - 246,000 HIGHWAY miles
    - AM radio, great for traffic reports and radio disney
    - 3 great tires from Walmart, they still have about 200 miles worth of tread on them
    - Partially functional transmission. Reverse does not work, but you don't really need that anyway.
    - Due to a wheel alignment problem, the car can only turn right. But with power steering, it makes turning right easy. Three right turns can make a left.
    - No title
    - Currently needs brakes, exhaust, cat converter, a front wheel and rotor, and a motor to pass inspection. But as long as you don't get pulled over, who cares about inspection?
    - The paint is a metallic/rust red. Some of the spots have rusted through, but I covered it up with duct tape and spray paint. Looks good as new!
    - Comes with THE CLUB, a state of the art anti-theft device. But i lost the key to it, so its stuck on the steering wheel. great for leaving your car in west philly!
    - The gas tank currently leaks gas, so MPG is around 6 or 7 depending on how fast you drive. You just need to keep plugging the hole with gum.
    At that price, this car is a DEAL! Let me know what you think.

    SHANIQUA *********** to Me

    YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Me to SHANIQUA ***********

    so you don't want the geo? you're missing out on a dream car. tell you what, for that price, I will also include three old Newsweek magazines, a used toaster, and an old Philadelphia Eagles #81 Terrell Owens jersey.
    Quote Originally Posted by da3bous View Post
    I want you to photoshop a giant penis down the side of my car

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    San Jose, CA
    Posts
    12,902

    Default

    Yea....

  4. #4

    Default


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    38

    Default

    Rofl
    XBL Gamertag - Synchrohelix

  6. #6

    Default

    lol, they have some pretty funny ones

  7. #7

    Default

    that shit is just silly

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    atlanta/dallas
    Posts
    1,155

    Default

    lollerskates!

    :

  9. #9

    Default

    My truck is pretty big. It is a Mazda Miata and it can hold around 3 people.
    Quote Originally Posted by da3bous View Post
    I want you to photoshop a giant penis down the side of my car

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    19

    Default

    I just spent the last 40 minutes reading some of those letters from that site to my flat mate. Bloody good!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    53

    Default

    lol

  12. #12

    Default

    Last edited by RamGoat; 06-19-2009 at 05:36 PM.

  13. #13

    Default

    if user don't know how do i enable Bluetooth in windows 10 and really wants to connect the Bluetooth in there system . so he needs a help from internet , i suggest to use this website link . i think this is the best platform to know how user will connect Bluetooth in window 10.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •